The Secret Revealed: How to
Defend Yourself Calmly and Effectively in Difficult Situations. Oh, and How to Feel Good About it and Still Have Friends!
If for the last time you are fed up with feeling got
at or under fire or just plain anxious and ineffective, you'll want to take a closer look at this opportunity. Those
thoughts, 'If people weren't so unpleasant, I'd feel ok', or 'It's someone else's fault that I
can't do my work properly', or 'I've learned that I'm just no good at this and someone else does it better'
or even, 'I'll just have to put up with this treatment' are all self defeatest thoughts.
However, if we take a closer look at some of our behaviours, it is no wonder we end
up feeling victim and blaming other people for it! Because
until we have realised just how powerful we are, and can
put it into practice, then other people will always seem to be in control of how we feel.
For example:
- Are
you one of these people that kick yourself because you let the moment pass to make your point?
- Anxious about that job interview?
- Are you fed up with accepting someone else's unreasonable anger
and behaviour?
- Are you endlessly frustrated
at work, watching others getting promotion, and you last in the queue?
- Or just plain unconfident when dealing with others in person or on the phone?
All these states of mind assume
that other people are in control and are somehow judging you or depriving you of something.
As long as you continue to believe in your lack of power, you will always be in
this position. The question I would like to ask you is:
Can you afford, especially in these economically
difficult times, to not be proactive and take control in your work and home lives?
We can be easily distracted and knocked off track by a
range of seemingly urgent and immediate problems:
Changes of work circumstances will impact at home.
New babies will impact at
work.
Retirement
impacts on relationships in the home.
Redundancy will impact at home.
Relationships may become strained.
Your ability to keep your
spirits up will be challenged if home is difficult and you are looking for a job
Your own business may be suffering from the economic
downturn
You are working harder and harder, not smarter, just to stand still
There are so many reasons why it is time
for you to be proactive and to start learning about engaging
in new, meaningful and effective ways with all of those you come into contact with. Assertiveness
training can help you do just that.
But first, let's
get down to the nitty gritty of what it is you need to change to become more effective at work and at home. For example
have you
- ever revisited again and again conversations you've had wishing you'd said this or that, and privately fuming that your
wife, husband, or colleague got away with it, again?
- become so used to having to apologise for yourself that you wished you could tell everyone
to just go away and leave you in peace?
- developed
elaborate ways of getting your message across without hurting those in your environment, but they are so elaborate that no
one really got it?
- been left
feeling that everyone is so insensitive and selfish that they didn't realise what you were getting at?
- been put in an even more difficult position because
it seems that either you'll have to put up with the status quo, or get angry with the person who didn't 'get it'?
You know, none of these options are the most effective way of operating. There
is a much more simple way of doing things. And I'd like to show you, on my Assertivness training,
just how you can get your message over clearly and concisely, politely and respectfully so that the other party can
1. HEAR what you mean
2. ACT on what you have said
3. FEEL good about the exchange.
If however, a perverse part of you enjoys feeling victimised or unheard, and you don't want to take the action
to improve your communication effectiveness now, then you need to realise that no one can help you do it any differently.
If that is the case, there's no point reading any further.
People
that seriously want to take control and understand their power and their choices
will want to do something to make it happen. And if that's you, you're
in the right place.
There are so many ways in which we have learned through our
lives, to take the less confrontational or more conciliatory way even though it means we end up doing what we don't want
to do.
Well, you
don't have to feel defeated anymore
I want to show
you a way that you can respectfully
- get what
you want - while respecting the rights of the other person
- negotiate difficult situations so that all parties come out winning
- not take criticism personally
- show your anger at someone without causing offence
- say no and still have friends!
There
are so many ways in which Assertiveness Training can improve:
- the quality of your communication and relationships at work
- your effectiveness at work
- the quality of your relationships at home
- even the level of intimacy you achieve with your partner!
And you can achieve this by developing the insight to understand what interpersonal communication is
all about in this Assertiveness training designed with one goal in mind:
To raise your confidence levels so that you are never without power again.
Now I want to make it quite clear before you go any
further. You are not going to turn into some aggressive bigot who doesn't listen to anyone else's opinion.
Many people express these fears as they have been so used to being passive or ineffective that the alternative seems aggressive.
Not at all.
On the contrary, you will learn how
- to listen to someone else's opinion and then
- how to express your own opinion as well. Because let's face it, often your opinion may have been
dismissed, belittled or attacked.
However, often people that go on this
course are people who appear to be very confident. They often say that their
colleagues or friends couldn't believe they needed an Assertiveness course and laughed at them! Appearances
can be so deceptive, can they not? It's like the old duck syndrome: calm on top but paddling like mad underneath!
I would say that describes many people, not only who dare to study with me, but who have cursorily dismissed engaging
with this course for fear of what others might say.
Interesting. Frightened of what others might say... Is
it up to them? Who's in the driving seat in your life, you or them? They certainly don't stand to gain anything
by judging you for your choices, but you stand to gain immensely from your proactive choice to improve yourself!
Perhaps in your desire to appear strong and in control, you
have developed a certain aggressiveness and curtness to your behaviour and that is why they believe you, of all people,
couldn't possibly need Assertiveness training. However as you become more congruent with your image,
that is: what you present comes from a place of confidence not fear, then your aggressiveness will in fact reduce....curious
isn't it? By now you should be realising that many people have misunderstood what Assertiveness
really means.
On this course you will learn how to:
- Defend yourself calmly
- Manage difficult exchanges
- Feel confident about adopting your own position
And I must stress again, while still respecting others. This is Assertivness. As I've
already said, you will not become even more aggressive. The opposite is in fact much more likely. Aggressive styles
of interacting can be quite counterproductive.
Learning the art of
effective negotiation through Assertiveness Training can improve your ability to be a successful communicator
tenfold.
So for a moment just imagine the tricky situation you find yourself in, work or home, and see yourself standing taller,
feeling more confident and able, easily and effectively, to state your case, engage in negotiation, maintain your self respect
and come out a winner!
Imagine that in order to
do this all you had to do was take stock of some of your well worn patterns
of behaviour, dust them off, get rid of those that really are pointlessly old and irrelevant, and adopt options for a new,
more effective and engaging way of resolving conflict and issues!
And all this from a few targeted and impactful lessons of Assertiveness Training
Some who have already attended this course
have given me their experiences below. Here's what they said
of the course.
"I have been on two courses that Jenny has run: Assertiveness and
Confidence Building and Self Hypnosis. I have found that these courses have helped me a great deal as I
was diagnosed with MS 3 years ago. At the time I felt like my life had been pulled from under me and had lost a lot of self
confidence. With doing these courses I have been able to look at myself and say yes, I have this illness
but it is not going to stop me. I put this to the test this year by going on holiday for the first time in six years
and not just a holiday on the beach but a skiing holiday; one that I never thought I would be able to do again. I would
say that I still have a way to go but doing these courses have helped me so much and I would recommend
anyone to give them a go as they get you to look at yourself from a different angle and that's not a bad thing.
Thanks Jenny" RN
'This
course changed my life!' Nicola
'It gave me confidence in myself.' Graham
"I'm just writing this note to thank you for everything
that you have done for me. From the therapy to the assertiveness course. Because of your help my life has changed
in a positive way and I now feel that I WILL move myself forward. I now refuse to be beaten or to beat myself up
over things. You should give yourself a good pat on the back for the way you are helping people." Mark D
'An essential part in the education of life'.
Joe
'I've learned
to deal with other people better, understand how others work more, and I now take things less personally' Fran
'This is a course for life that has taught me how to live
my life with more reassurance and confidence. Everyone would benefit from doing this course.' Lisa
And they're not the only ones who
have benefitted from the course. Check out the following on my product site....
And
if you still need any convincing, I'd like to ask you when you last felt you did
anything that directly benefitted you and your personal development and emotional wellbeing?....I'm guessing alot
of you are going to say 'NO' to that one! That 'NO' was easy to say, wasn't it?
And something even more beneficial from this course, that is most definitely something
you may not expect but most certainly arrives in large quantities:
Cameraderie
Indeed!
You'll actually meet people who you will learn to feel more and more comfortable with. Some of my students have
made life long friends on this course.
Book it in your diaries now. Here are the course dates
for the new year, 2011.
25th January
1st February
8th February
15th February
22nd February
1st March
From 7 till 9:30pm
Venue: St Mary's Centre, Great Dunmow, Essex. CM6 2AE
Changing the way you do friendships or work relationships and what you get out
of them is worth its weight in gold. How much would you be prepared to pay to learn to:
- stand taller
- feel
more confident
- learn to negotiate
- build bridges
These life skills are invaluable. So many of my students have said that we
should be taught this in school.
So if you have your credit
card ready you can make your investment right away. Just fill in your details on the button below and you can choose
to pay by credit card or through pay pal if you have an account.
£150
Or as an added bonus get your payment in before 18th
January 2011 and reduce that figure by nearly 15 %
making your investment only
£130!
SPECIAL OFFER NOW EXPIRED
And as an extra bonus to help you remember the course, I will give you included in this price, the 4 hour audio
product available on this site to recover some of the key lessons learned in the 6 weekly classes.
All you need to do now is click on the button below, and I will confirm your subscription
within 24 hours.
To make your investment
click the button below.
