The Secret Revealed: How to Defend
Yourself Calmly and Effectively in Difficult Situations. Oh, and How to Feel Good About it and Still Have Friends!
If for the last time you are fed up with feeling got at or under fire or just plain
anxious and ineffective, you'll want to take a closer look at this opportunity. Those thoughts, 'If people weren't so
unpleasant, I'd feel ok', or 'It's someone else's fault that I can't do my work properly', or 'I've learned that I'm just
no good at this and someone else does it better' are all self defeatest thoughts.
One of the lessons we hate to learn is that no one else is responsible for our
feelings or circumstances but us. Boy, that is a tough lesson to learn! And some of you right now may be feeling indignant
I've even made the suggestion. But taking a closer look at some of our behaviours, it is no wonder we end up feeling
victim and blaming other people for it! Because until we have realised just how powerful we are, and can put it into practice, then other
people will always seem to be in control of how we feel.
For example:
- Are you one of these people that kick yourself because you let the
moment pass to make your point?
- Anxious about that job interview?
- Are you fed up with accepting someone else's unreasonable anger
and behaviour?
- Are you endlessly frustrated at work, watching others getting promotion, and
you last in the queue?
- Or just plain unconfident when dealing with others in person or on the phone?
All
these states of mind assume that other people are in control and are somehow
judging you or depriving you of something.
As
long as you continue to believe in your lack of power, you will always be in this position. The question I would like
to ask you is:
Can you afford, especially in these economically difficult
times, to not be proactive and take control in your work and home lives?
We
can be easily distracted and knocked off track by a range of seemingly urgent and immediate problems:
-
Changes of work circumstances will impact at home.
-
New babies will impact at work.
-
Retirement impacts on relationships in the home.
-
Redundancy will impact at home.
-
Relationships may become strained.
-
Your ability to keep your spirits up will be challenged if home is difficult and you are
looking for a job
-
Your own business may be suffering from the economic downturn
-
You are working harder and harder, not smarter, just to stand still
There are so many reasons why it is
time for you to be proactive and to start learning about engaging in new, meaningful and effective ways with all of those you come
into contact with. Assertiveness training can help you do just that.
But first, let's get down to the nitty gritty of what
it is you need to change to become more effective at work and at home. For example have you
- ever revisited again and again conversations you've had wishing you'd said this or that, and privately fuming that your wife,
husband, or colleague got away with it, again?
- become so used to having to
apologise for yourself that you wished you could tell everyone to just go away and leave you in peace?
- developed elaborate ways of getting
your message across without hurting those in your environment, but they are so elaborate that no one really got it?
- been left feeling that everyone
is so insensitive and selfish that they didn't realise what you were getting at?
- been put in an even more difficult
position because it seems that either you'll have to put up with the status quo, or get angry with the person who didn't 'get
it'?
You know, none of these options are the most effective way
of operating. There is a much more simple way of doing things. And I'd like to show you, on my Assertivness
training, just how you can get your message over clearly and concisely, politely and respectfully so that the other
party can
1. HEAR what you
mean
2. ACT on what
you have said
3. FEEL good about
the exchange.
If however, a perverse part of you enjoys feeling victimised
or unheard, and you don't want to take the action to improve your communication effectiveness now, then you need to realise
that no one can help you do it any differently. If that is the case, there's no point reading any further.
People that seriously
want to take control and understand their power and their choices will want
to do something to make it happen. And you're in the right place.
There are so many ways in which we have learned through our lives, to take the less confrontational or
more conciliatory way even though it means we end up doing what we don't want to do.
Well, you don't have to feel
defeated anymore
I want to show you a way that you can respectfully
- get what you want - while respecting the rights of the other person
- negotiate difficult situations so that all parties come out winning
- not take criticism personally
- show your anger at someone without causing offence
- say no and still have friends!
There are so many ways in which Assertiveness Training can improve:
- the quality of your communication
- the quality of your relationships at work
- the quality of your relationships at home
- even the level of intimacy you achieve with your partner!
And you can achieve this by developing the insight to understand what interpersonal communication
is all about in this Assertiveness training designed with one goal in mind:
To raise your confidence levels so that you are
never without power again.
Now I want to make it quite clear before you go any further. You are
not going to turn into some aggressive bigot who doesn't listen to anyone else's opinion. Many people express these
fears as they have been so used to being passive or ineffective that the alternative seems aggressive. Not at all.
On the contrary, you will learn how
- to listen to someone else's opinion and then
- how to express your own opinion as well. Because let's face it, often your opinion may have been dismissed,
belittled or attacked.
However, often people that go on this course are people who appear to be very confident.
They often say that their colleagues or friends couldn't believe they needed an Assertiveness
course and laughed at them! Appearances can be so deceptive, can they not? It's like the old duck syndrome:
calm on top but paddling like mad underneath! I would say that describes many people, not only who dare to study
with me, but who have cursorily dismissed engaging with this course for fear of what
others might say.
Interesting. Frightened of what others might say...
Is it up to them? Who's in the driving seat in your life, you or them? They certainly don't stand to gain anything by
judging you for your choices, but you stand to gain immensely from your proactive choice to improve yourself!
Perhaps in your desire to appear strong and in control,
you have developed a certain aggressiveness and curtness to your behaviour and that is why they believe you, of all
people, couldn't possibly need Assertiveness training. However as you become more congruent with your
image, that is: what you present comes from a place of confidence not fear, then your aggressiveness will in fact
reduce....curious isn't it? By now you should be realising that many people have misunderstood what Assertiveness
really means.
On this course you will learn how to:
- Defend yourself calmly
- Manage difficult exchanges
- Feel confident about adopting your own position
And I must stress again, while still respecting others.
This is Assertivness. As I've already said, you will not become even more aggressive. The opposite is in fact
much more likely. Aggressive styles of interacting can be quite counterproductive. Learning the art of effective negotiation through Assertiveness Training can improve your ability
to be a successful communicator tenfold.
So for a moment just imagine the tricky situation
you find yourself in, work or home, and see yourself standing taller, feeling more confident and able, easily and effectively,
to state your case, engage in negotiation, maintain your self respect and come out a winner!
Imagine that in order to do this all you had to do was take
stock of some of your well worn patterns of behaviour, dust them off, get rid of those that really are pointlessly old and
irrelevant, and adopt options for a new, more effective and engaging way of resolving conflict and issues!
And all this from a few targeted and impactful lessons
of Assertiveness Training
Some who have already attended this course have given me their experiences
below. Here's what they said of the course.
"I have been on two courses that Jenny has run: Assertiveness and Confidence Building and Self Hypnosis. I
have found that these courses have helped me a great deal as I was diagnosed with MS 3 years ago. At the time I felt like
my life had been pulled from under me and had lost a lot of self confidence. With doing these courses I
have been able to look at myself and say yes, I have this illness but it is not going to stop me. I put this to the
test this year by going on holiday for the first time in six years and not just a holiday on the beach but a skiing holiday;
one that I never thought I would be able to do again. I would say that I still have a way to go but
doing these courses have helped me so much and I would recommend anyone to give them a go as they get you to look at yourself
from a different angle and that's not a bad thing. Thanks Jenny" RN
'This
course changed my life!' Nicola
'It
gave me confidence in myself.' Graham
"I'm just writing
this note to thank you for everything that you have done for me. From the therapy to the assertiveness course. Because
of your help my life has changed in a positive way and I now feel that I WILL move myself forward. I now refuse
to be beaten or to beat myself up over things. You should give yourself a good pat on the back for the way you are helping
people." Mark D
'An essential
part in the education of life'. Joe
'I've learned
to deal with other people better, understand how others work more, and I now take things less personally' Fran
'This is a course
for life that has taught me how to live my life with more reassurance and confidence. Everyone would benefit from doing
this course.' Lisa
And they're not the only ones who have benefitted from the course. Check
out the following on my product site....
And if you still need any convincing, I'd like to ask you when you last felt you did anything that directly benefitted you and your personal development and emotional wellbeing?....I'm
guessing alot of you are going to say 'NO' to that one! That 'NO' was easy to say, wasn't it?
And something even more beneficial from this course, that is most definitely
something you may not expect but most certainly arrives in large quantities:
Cameraderie
That's right! You'll actually meet people who you will learn to feel more
and more comfortable with. Some of my students have made life long friends on this course.
Changing the way you do friendships or work relationships and what you get
out of them is worth its weight in gold. How much would you be prepared to pay to learn to:
- stand taller
- feel more confident
- learn to negotiate
- build bridges
These life skills are invaluable. So many of my students have said that
we should be taught this in school.
So if you have your credit card ready you can make your investment right away.
Just fill in your details on the button below and you can choose to pay by credit card or through pay pal if you have an account.
Though the value of the Assertiveness course could run into many
hundreds if you could fully measure the benefits and changes that take place as a result, I have settled on a price of only
£150
for the 6 week course. Or as an added bonus get your payment in before
12th February and reduce that figure by 10%
making your investment only
£135!
And as an extra bonus to help you remember the course, I will give you
included in this price, the
edited audio CD recordings
of the classes you attended
You can have a permanent record
of what you have learned available at any time that you would like to revise the lessons from this class.
Few courses will offer you this amount of value.
The course takes place on 6 consecutive Thursday Evenings starting on 26th
February 2009 in Great Dunmow. We start at 7pm and finish at 9:30pm.
All you need to do now is click
on the button below, and I will send you all the subscription details within 24 hours.
To make your investment click the button below.
