I’ve been working at Open Mind for more than 12 years helping people make transitions in their lives from old ways of being to new ways. A lot of their feedback has caused me to realise that they are not only ‘dealing with issues’ but becoming inspired to change their lives positively and creatively as a result of working on their blocks and resistances.
So I realised it was time for a rename to the Life Make Over Consultant.
What’s a Life Make-Over Consultant?
Well, it’s basically what it says on the tin. Whatever issue you think you need to work with, I’m here to help you make over your life. That means looking at the issue as a symptom of something bigger and going that step further to hand the power for your life back over to you.
So whether you are suffering with issues, blocks or problems, such as anxiety, depression, stress, anger, loss, guilt, time management, or wanting to push into a area of personal development that you have always said you’d do and now seems the right time, then I’m here to offer my insights and my inspiration to help you become who you truly are.
Instead of struggling against the tide, I challenge you to release your resistance, to listen to the message in the struggle, and to re-discover your inner strengths to dealing with life’s ups and downs. Working in harmony with yourself, in personal alignment, means you can create more than you ever dreamed was possible for you.
All we need to work on is the illusions you have adopted as reality. We will cover a lot in the first session so be prepared to work hard and to roll your sleeves up!
‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.’ Buddhist proverb
The Goal of any Therapeutic or Coaching Solution
I’ll help you to restore your equilibrium and I will show you how to retrain your mind. I will guide you through an experiential journey with me, so that you learn to trust your true self and your own judgement.
Ultimately, once you’ve retrained yourself, you are free to experience your life in a different way. It is often said of T’ai Chi that you have to learn the ‘form’ exactly as it is before you can discover the freedom to allow your own personal expression flow in a more naturally harmonious way for you.
One thing’s for sure, all the while you remain out of balance with yourself – with your head imposing solutions that your heart cannot follow – you’ll find it hard to create the conditions for a peaceful and harmonious life.
Overstimulation of the mind and the immune system
If you stay in the mind, in the thinking brain, you will find it more difficult to allow your inspiration to surface. That’s why I use hypnotherapy and meditation at times. These approaches help loosen the stranglehold of your conscious mind over your body’s experience so that you can release the trapped emotions that you have stored up often over years.
The body can be shocked into holding onto pain, such as is the case with trauma and loss. Once we acclimatise to this pain, then we can develop secondary problems such as high blood pressure, IBS, ME/CFS and a range of other seemingly unfathomable medical problems. I have witnessed the resolution of many such disorders by working with the deeper layers of consciousness where much of our unresolved shock has been stored.
What is Trauma?
Trauma can be quite innocuous at times but the effect is the same. Trauma forces a defensiveness in the body’s system so that the body learns to prepare in case a similar such trauma happens again. This ties up the body’s energy and immune system in a red alert response. It can be as innocuous as having been told off at school a couple of times or as serious as profound loss and tragedy. Either way, the body’s response is the same. It is preparing you for a fight or flight response. This is what is causing the chronic stress you might be feeling as well: the mind and body’s preparedness to defend against an unknown threat.
‘There are only two times I feel stress: day and night!’ Unknown
What happens in the mind and body?
You are the sum total of everything that has happened to you and everything you create in your life from day to day. All of your life’s experience has led you to be who you are in this moment. The failures, the disappointments, the triumphs and the achievements have all played a part in determining your attitude to life, your belief systems, and your hope and aspirations for the future.
If you’re experiencing stress related mental, emotional or often physical disturbances, something in your belief system is telling you a few porkies about who you are and what you should be or be doing with your life! And this is stressing not just your mind, but your body too.
The good news is, that with some personal insight and guidance from a coaching or hypnotherapy approach you can wake up to your real choices and take control of your life. And that’s because all those stress responses to your challenges have been learned, and if that’s the case, they can be unlearned. In a few short months time, you could look back and wonder how you ever allowed yourself to be so dictated by what you thought you had to do or be.
It is this out of control feeling that creates all manner of disturbances such as depression, alcohol or drug dependence, anxiety, low sex drive or over reliance on sex, grief, anger issues, performance anxiety, fear of the future, phobias, IBS, ME/CFS, skin conditions, insomnia among many.
I can help you regain your equilibrium in the face of these challenges and help transform the way you work your life.
‘Educating the Mind without educating the heart, is no education at all’ Aristotle
What about the spirit?
The word ‘spirit’ hardly ever comes into the therapeutic world’s language, but it is the very essence of who we are and how we operate so I feel it really does need a mention. I want to demystify the spiritual and not just tell you what I think, but show you how I operate when you meet me.
Our world is very left brained, scientific, analytical, visual, driven, aggressive, competitive: all of the language I’ve used above this last title is very left brained and problem solving oriented. These qualities are fairly masculine and are what society values. Because of our left brained, technological age, if I didn’t talk like that, the search engines, and therefore you, would never find me! Whatsmore, because we’ve been so programmed to see the world this way, you wouldn’t get where I was coming from if I didn’t talk in terms that you could relate to from our popular culture.
The spiritual however can be summarized in this list of adjectives: wise, knowing, receptive, open, trusting, calm, inspired, warm, self aware, intuitive, insightful. These qualities are more feminine and come from a deeper place of being. Notice how you feel different when you read them, in contrast to the list of adjectives in the previous paragraph.
Our lack of balance in society and therefore in each of us, has come about because we have overlooked the spiritual in favour of the scientific. In my experience, you get the most out of your life when you allow both to coexist. Oh, and by the way, the spiritual has nothing to do with religion. But we do need to find some meaning that is bigger and more nourishing than mere media driven, externally referenced success markers we have all been led to believe are absolute.
You may have noticed that most of your inspiration and insight comes when you are calm and quietly inwardly focussed. These qualities do not appear when you feel stressed or anxious. If you can re-position the spiritual back into the core of your life, then all of your material success gains new perspective and new meaning. Instead of being driven by arbitrary motivational incentives, you are more driven by your deeper desire to find meaning in how you use your life.
Now isn’t that a great way to live? Time for a make-over?
‘To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.’ Deepak Chopra
How do you adopt the spiritual?
I’ll show you ways in which you can put the ‘S’ word back into your life. It’s very simple and you do not have to go near a church or temple! It is all about getting to know yourself and loving and liking who you are so you are not so desperate to prove your worth to other people all of the time. If this feels alien right now, you probably need it more than ever! So book yourself in for a make-over!
‘Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived‘ The Dalai Lama
The Mind and Body are Inherently One and the Same
If you heal the mind, you often heal the body. Sometimes it can work the other way round too, but often it is the way we live, the deeper layers of character conditioning and who we believe we have to be, that cause us to be physically ill. We are more out of touch with the natural flow of life today than ever before. There are thousands of daily distractions that keep us involved in the ‘matrix’ and in the false belief that we have to be someone we are not. This creates incredible stress on all the body’s systems, physical, mental and emotional, as we are primed for fight or flight for our perceived survival in this threatening world of competing image and wealth.
When you address the mental blocks you have been experiencing, and cross over into a new consciousness, your physical ailments are likely to ease considerably, if not disappear completely. It is not a guarantee of recovery, but it is the premise upon which most of hypnotherapy already addresses physical issues such as IBS, ME/CFS, Skin Conditions, and hormonal issues for women.
This page details my philosophy and the process of awakening to joy and balance as I have experienced in my life and describes the foundations which, I believe, are common to everyone. If you want to read more about my own personal transformations with regard to mental, emotional and physical well-being click here. Or just pick up the phone and call me on 07773 919071 or 01371 859994. Let’s have that chat to see if there’s anything I can help you with.
My consulting rooms are in both Throgmorton Street, in The City of London, and in Great Dunmow, Essex. More details on the Contact page.